“Stop Crying”: The Message That Taught Us to Suppress Our Feelings
Were you ever told to stop crying as a kid?
I certainly was. And I still hear it said to kids today.
On one level, it makes sense. When a child is upset about something that seems small to us as adults, we want to reassure them: "It’s okay, you don’t need to be upset about this."
But to the child, it is a big deal.
They’re little. The world is big. Practically everything is new—and it can feel scary.
The Message Kids Hear (Even If We Don’t Mean It)
When a child hears “stop crying,” what they often internalize is:
“I shouldn’t have had this reaction. Something is wrong with me for feeling this way. How I’m expressing myself is not okay.”
A belief gets formed early: Crying = wrong, bad, or shameful.
If you carry any judgment about your own emotions, chances are this belief lives within you too.
How Suppressing Emotions Affects Us as Adults
When our emotions were shut down in childhood, we often struggle to feel them as adults.
We also struggle to be around others—especially children—when they express their feelings.
Often, we get triggered most when others show emotions around the age we ourselves shut them down.
The Problem With Avoiding Our Emotions
Avoiding our emotions becomes a way of life. And it leads to coping mechanisms like:
Scrolling endlessly on our phones
Overeating or undereating
Overworking or over-exercising
Constantly staying busy, never able to sit still
And when those feelings finally surface?
We might blow up at someone, become passive-aggressive, or bottle it all in, feel heavy from the weight of it all.
So long as we avoid our emotions, we’ll be run by them.
What If You Don’t Know How to Feel Anymore?
For many, emotions can feel overwhelming—or we don’t feel them at all. Numbness becomes our norm.
The truth is: You can learn how to safely feel your emotions again.
It’s not about getting stuck in your feelings—it’s about feeling them with presence. And that’s what I’ll be teaching in my upcoming free webinar:
🌿 Feel to Heal: A Free Webinar
How to Stop Being Afraid of Your Emotions (and Start Feeling Better in Your Body and Life)
During this live session, I’ll share:
A gentle process for feeling your emotions—without spiraling or shutting down
How to connect with the inner peace that already exists within you
Ways to feel more confident and grounded, no matter what arises
🗓️ Live on Tuesday, June 10th at 11:00 AM ET
🎥 Replay available if you can’t attend live