There’s an interesting pattern I notice: when I’m feeling good, happy, energized etc. I don’t really think that much about my body. However when I’m tired, stressed, fearful or anxious, I am more likely to fixate on or criticize my body.

I hate that I need to write “survive” and “swimsuit” in the same sentence. I’d much prefer we lived in a world where body judgement didn’t exist, and people never felt uncomfortable putting on a swimsuit and enjoying time at the beach or the pool. But this is not our world right now, and the fact is way too many of us feel like we need to “survive” the summer months where more revealing clothing like bathing suits are worn.

Change can be uncomfortable, especially when we are used to having control over our daily lives. The pandemic reminds us that change happens, and life is always in flux. The more we resist change that is out of our control, the more suffering we experience, and if there’s one area where there is strong resistance, it’s with our bodies.

I hesitated to write this post because Ayahuasca is still quite unknown (and illegal in most places), and with all things unknown, it can be quite misunderstood.

But my experience with ayahuasca (and the container wherein I experienced it), was so profound, safe, helpful, and insightful, that I didn’t want to hold back on sharing the realizations that came from it.

Question:

Were you "you" when you were 5 years old?

How about 10 years old? 20? 30? 40?

It seems like a silly question doesn't it? Of course it was "you" throughout all those years! But if someone were to look at you at each point in your life, you would look different every time.

Was it "you" running around doing cartwheels, playing sports, going to school, and working a job?

To begin with, it’s good to have an understanding of what “diet culture” actually is.

I like Christy Harrison’s definition which you can read here, though to summarize:

Diet culture is a set of beliefs held by the popular culture that…

• worships thinness

• equates health and moral virtue to one’s body size

• elevates (or demotes) one’s social status based on appearance

• demonizes certain ways of eating

• oppresses individuals in proportion to how far away they are from the cultural body “ideal”

I was sitting on the couch at midnight with friends, and almost immediately after the ball dropped a WW ad appeared on TV encouraging us to make this year the year we lose weight and keep it off! Well actually, they didn’t explicitly say “lose weight”  because they are now “WW” and no longer “Weight Watchers”, (which is laughable, because WW is still very much centered around weight loss).

And that’s a problem. 

What is weight stigma?

Weight stigma is comprised of the assumptions we have about a person based on their body size. It expresses itself in the way we treat people (and view and treat ourselves). It manifests in our culture through who gets access and who doesn’t, based on body size. 

I was riding home on the streetcar the other day and overheard a conversation between two grown men. The one was telling the other about his hiking trip abroad. They both clearly loved hiking, and were swapping stories about people they met on the trail, their blisters and aching feet, and the stunning scenery they encountered. It sounded to me like a full-out experience, and had me thinking about hiking abroad too someday.
Then it happened (like it does all too often) - the conversation turned to weight.

Body positivity has gone mainstream. It’s exciting, because it means more and more people will come across the message of accepting our bodies no matter what they look like, or are capable of doing. It’s a message that promotes caring for people and treating everyone with respect, without requiring that their bodies confirm to someone else’s (or a culture’s) expectation.

But like all things that go mainstream, the core purpose and message can get watered down by those who misunderstand it.

I tell all my coaching clients that they are courageous, strong, and have a lot of heart. I say this not just so that they feel good about themselves, I say it because it’s 100% true.

Here is a classic storyline:

A girl is an “ugly duckling”, she loses weight, puts on some makeup, a nice hairdo, and, let’s not forget, loses the glasses, and voila! She’s becomes “hot” and all the guys fall for her, and she lives happily ever after.

In about 4 months, I’m getting married.

I’m expecting a call within the next few weeks notifying me that my dress has arrived, at which time I’ll have an appointment for alterations.

I’ve been told a common question at wedding dress alterations is “how much weight are you expecting to lose?”

I have no scientific backing for this, but fatphobic talk increases 3000% during the holidays. At least it seems that way to me.

“Highlight Strategically”

“Show Your ‘Good’ Side”

“Angle Your Body”...

I could go on and on sharing the number of “tips” that a Google search will find about how to “look good” in photos, but I won’t.

Because looking good in photos isn’t what people really want, is it?

Speaking up and saying what is true for us can take a lot of courage - especially in the online world, and especially when our point of view isn’t popular.

“Oh I’m being so bad!” (while eating chocolate cake).

“I’ll be good tomorrow and eat a salad” (while enjoying pizza).

Talk of being “bad” or “good” around food is so common you’ve likely heard it discussed today at lunch, or even said it (or thought it) yourself. In our culture there are different ways of eating, some deemed good and some bad - but why? Where does this moral association with food come from?

I thought I was a healthy eater. Actually, I thought I was a very healthy eater.

As a yoga practitioner and then instructor, I fell deep into the wellness well. More accurately - I dove in head first, believing that the deeper I went, the healthier I would become.

Ever since I woke up from diet culture I’ve become hyper-aware of how we talk about our bodies – especially us women. Any time I’m around a group of women who aren’t on the body acceptance or body positive path, I’m shocked at the amount of negative body talk that goes on.